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Key insights from

The Proximity Principle: The Proven Strategy That Will Lead to a Career You Love

By Ken Coleman

What you’ll learn

Almost three-quarters of employees surveyed are dissatisfied with their jobs. That means that most of the workforce is missing out on the joy of fulfilling work, a reality that puts a strain on individuals and society. Many of these people would like to do something else, but do not know where to begin. According to Ken Coleman, the Proximity Principle is the solution to this dilemma, taking people from toil and tedium to satisfaction in their career.


Read on for key insights from The Proximity Principle.

1. The right people plus the right places yield opportunities.

Do you like your job? If you do not, you are in good company: About 70% of employees polled say the same. This book is for the dissatisfied who long for a fulfilling career but aren’t sure how to get there. As you’ll see, the most frightening step in the dream job direction is the first.

But as you start stepping toward the right people and places that align with the dream job, that will start to change. Nearness to relevant career action is at the heart of the Proximity Principle. Things invariably change for the better when you step closer to  where the action is. Whatever you want, it will obviously be more difficult to acquire it if you’re far away from it.

The formula for success is refreshingly simple: The right people plus the right places yield opportunities.

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2. The people you need to connect with don’t know you exist yet—it’s up to you to change that.

There is truth to the old cliché that it is not just what you know but who you know. Whatever that metaphorical mountain is that you are looking to climb, answering the question of whom you need to know will help you figure out where you first need to step.

Unfortunately, whoever they are, they are not thinking about you right now or wondering when you will call. They don’t know who you are. They are focused on their own careers and work. It’s up to you to find them and make connections. Finding them is not so difficult—convincing them to make time for you is going to be tougher. It takes persistence and courage. You’ll probably get plenty of no’s or silence in response to your requests and inquiries. Don’t let the rejection weigh on you. You’ve gotten that much closer to a yes.

Never forget that people are smart and can spot selfish opportunism. If that’s all you bring with you, it’s not time to start networking yet. No one wants to feel like they’re being used. Be bold and daring, but avoid obnoxiousness at all costs. Don’t be so focused on your own ambitions that you forget to be a kind and interested person. Be someone whom someone else would want to help. If you are eager to learn and grow and are looking for ways you could help the person you want to connect with, that will take you farther than introducing yourself and then just waiting for a hand-out.

So don’t let your relationships become one-way streets. Be sure to think not only in terms of how you can be helped, but how you can help others in return.

3. Teachers, professionals, mentors, peers, and producers each will have a unique and crucial role in your trek up the existential mountain.

There are five groups of people you need to get to know as you take your journey toward that dream career: teachers, professionals, mentors, peers, and producers.

These people will help you, each in a different way.

Teachers are the people who are at the cutting edge of your field of interest, who are knowledgeable, who care deeply about the field, and who will keep nudging you forward and inspiring you to grow. These people will help you cultivate a learning posture and help you remember that however much you learn, there’s always more to discover.

Professionals are important people to connect with in your field because they show you what your craft looks like at its highest level. Teachers are a wealth of knowledge. Professionals are a wealth of experience. They keep an eye on what other leaders in the field are doing. Leonardo DiCaprio studied the acting of legend Paul Newman. Robin Williams watched, recorded, and studied comedians’ setups, timing, and punch lines before he ever tried stand-up himself.

When you have an opportunity to meet with a professional, think about how you’d like to make the most of a potentially singular moment. Some forethought not only increases  what you get out of the exchange, it shows respect and gratitude to the professional for offering you his or her time and expertise. Ask questions about what helped them move past failure or rejection, who were the heroes they watched growing up, what were the hinge moments and decisions that moved them forward, or what they would have done differently.

If you want to excel in a field you have to watch those who already do. Learn their tricks by studying them if you can't ask them directly. Look for ways to integrate their tricks into your own craft. Remember that there is no better teacher than experience.

Mentors are also crucial figures to have in your corner. Find one. You will be hard pressed to find any luminary in science, sports, religion, business, or any other field who didn’t have someone older and wiser standing with them and coaching them. Good mentors have experience and wisdom, but they pair that with emotional support and genuine care for you. They keep you on the path to success and growth, and know what it takes to climb a mountain because they’ve climbed a few of their own.

One of the most remarkable aspects of a long-term mentoring relationship is that it usually inspires the mentee to pay things forward and mentor a new generation.

Think about where you’d like to be in the next few decades and then consider based on that who are the people you admire that could help you get there. What do you appreciate about them? How can they best encourage and challenge you? How often would you like to meet with them? Give these points some thought and then propose a plan to them. See what they say.

Peer selection is also crucial. Your social environment has a profound impact on your goals and expectations, and you will ascend or descend the mountain based on who you’re hiking buddies are. You need to have a peer group. Choose friends who have similar values and goals and who will tell you the truth. They will sharpen you if you let them. Make a list of your five closest friends, and ask yourself if you are aligned in values and ambitions and if you can trust them to tell you the truth. If the answer is not “yes,” then make a second list of people whose values better align with yours.

Producers are the final group of people who will help you on life’s climb. Every industry has them. These are the movers and shakers who create opportunities, keep the gates, and run relevant organizations. They have experience in your dream career, but they also make things happen, can connect you to that breakthrough opportunity, or can push you in the right direction even if they don’t have a golden opportunity at the exact moment that you’re knocking.

4. Everything needed to start you on the path to your dream job is in your own backyard.

Just as there are five key kinds of people you will need in your vocational climb (teachers, professionals, mentors, peers, and producers), there are also five places you need to find along the journey: the place you are, a place to learn, a place to practice, a place to perform, and a place to grow.

Before you pack up and move to Silicon Valley, London, or New York—pause. Wherever you are at this current moment, there is opportunity to move toward your goal. Those opportunities are in your backyard, so to speak. Start by scouring what’s in your zip code. You’ll find what you need there to start.

Make a list of places in or near your zip code that are aligned with what you would like to do. See if any of the firms or organizations have paid or volunteer work that you could be part of and that you could do well. Talk to friends and family to see if they know anyone in those organizations.

Figure out what kind of education you need to excel in your dream field: Does your field require formal education or is informal preferable? See what kinds of places are training people well and investigate the costs of receiving such training. Do you have enough time and money to keep up with the demands? As you investigate and talk to people, you’ll discover what the best fit is for what you’re doing.

The places that teach you will usually be able to direct you to places you can practice and hone your skills. Of the companies and organizations on your list, which ones will accept you as an intern or volunteer? Think in terms of how your skills can add value to what a company has going on before you pitch something. Are you willing to do it for free in exchange for the experience?

Ask any musician or comedian or actor or CEO and they’ll tell you they spent plenty of time in relative obscurity before they became the sensations they are today. These journeys are never without flubs and faux pas and gloriously awkward moments that only become humorous after the fact. People almost always start small and then build their craft before they get noticed.

You may not love these spots when you’re in them, but they’re instructive. They teach you how to deal with pressure and how to adapt and they help confirm whether this field is really what you’re after. If it’s not, then that’s okay, too. You’re closer than you’ve ever been to finding what it is.

Once you’ve found places to practice, you want to look for places to perform, where there’s a bit more responsibility and more skin in the game. This is the time to widen the search beyond local organizations.

Ultimately you want to land in a place that will give you an opportunity to grow your skills. These places don’t usually drop out of the sky. The whole idea is that you move toward it. And it won’t happen overnight. The uphill climb is never a sprint. It will take time and searching and wisdom. The signs of a good fit are shared values, a healthy level of  challenge, and a path forward and upward.

People who call in to the author’s show often dream of being the all-star of whatever team they’re on, but if you’re already the best, you’ll probably stop growing. There will be no bracing challenge to keep you engaged and pushing at the frontiers of your capabilities. The 1992 USA basketball team is a perfect example of pushing. With players like Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Magic Johnson, and Larry Bird all on the same squad, it was arguably the best group of players in the game’s history. But their best games were not played in the Olympics, where Team USA usually scored about 40 points higher than their opponents. Their best games were the ones the crowds never saw: the scrimmages between the top players in the world. As they prepped for the Olympics, the best of the best were pushing each other toward apex performance.

It is also important that there is a clear path forward. If there is not, it becomes hard to stay ambitious and motivated. Ultimately, you are looking for a company with a culture and mission that resonates deeply with you. It should have work that is meaningful to you. Make a list of the companies doing work you find most meaningful and that you’re most passionate about. If these companies have a path forward and space for you to grow in your role and responsibilities, then stay with it!

5. Know your role. Accept your role. Master and maximize your role.

Working the Proximity Principle takes practice. As you move toward the people and places that will help you climb your mountain, you’ll get better at creating a strong web of connections, making the most of those connections, and taking hold of opportunities as they present themselves. Stay close to people and places connected to your area of passion, and you’ve put yourself in the best position possible.

But more than practice, there’s a Proximity Mindset that will set you up for continued success and thriving. The Proximity Mindset is about knowing your role, accepting your role, and then not just mastering, but maximizing that role.

Know what your role is. This is more than just your job description. Have a deep understanding of what is expected of you, point for point. This will set you up to “win in your role.” Once you know your role, accept it. Every part of it is your responsibility and you will do every part of it as well as you know how. This is the m.o. whether you’re at base camp or approaching the top of the mountain. It is easy to want more and pine for what’s ahead instead of accepting what is in front of you. You might think you’re “above” what you have been tasked with. What starts as a stepping stone can become a cornerstone of your career, and you’ll never know if you don’t do your tasks with excellence. Finally, maximize it. Think beyond bare minimum. Think beyond just getting it done, and even beyond getting things done for yourself. Think of ways you can go the extra mile in your work or even to help other people in the company with their projects. Whatever those opportunities are, look for them. As you learn to cultivate this mindset, you will find yourself racking up wins, and those wins will spill over from your life into the lives of colleagues and your community.

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