Key insights from
You Are a Badass
By Jen Sincero
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What you’ll learn
Contrary to popular belief, being a badass has nothing to do with wearing ripped jeans or riding a motorcycle. A true badass is characterized by having unwavering belief in yourself and what you are capable of. Your inner badass pays zero attention to the nonsensical fears you listen to about how you’re not good or strong enough to be and do what you really want. This book will help you to train your inner badass to work for you so you can end the self-sabotage and run free.
Read on for key insights from You Are a Badass.
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1. It’s not your fault that you don’t believe in yourself.
Children internalize information and sensory experiences through their subconscious minds. The majority of their beliefs about the way things are or what is true are shaped by the messaging they receive from parents and society. But what if these beliefs are false? For example, if your father sighed every time your mom asked him to help with the dishes or your grandma relentlessly criticized your looks, you might automatically believe, “marriage is hard” and “I’m unattractive.” Your conscious mind, which develops during puberty, is responsible for critical thinking, analyzing information, and making independent decisions about what is true and false. Now that you’re past puberty, you’d think your conscious mind would take over—but does it? People tend to blindly follow the beliefs they establish early in life without ever really questioning them. The good news is that you can stop blaming yourself for your insecurities and start consciously choosing new beliefs.
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2. If you want to change your life you’ll have to change your energy.
The universe is made up of limitless energy. All energy vibrates at a certain frequency. You and your desires, both conscious and unconscious, are vibrating at a certain frequency. Your frequency attracts like frequencies, a phenomenon commonly known as the “law of attraction.” You can consciously raise your frequency to match the vibration that you want to tune into. If you vibrate with the energy of awesomeness, that energy will attract awesome opportunities.
There are many ways to raise our energy, but practicing being present is a great place to start. Most of us live anxiously, ping-ponging between past regrets and future fears, totally missing the limitless energy available to us in every moment. The universe is overflowing with miracles that can bring us love, joy, happiness, and connection. If we only realized that what we’re so fixated on becoming and creating is available to us now: the money, the spouse, the job, the creative expression . . . everything! Once we are aware of the positive energy around us, it is just a matter of letting it flow in moment by moment. By doing this, we escape the endless negative chatter in our heads and open the door to a richness of life unthinkable.
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3. You’ll attract more positive energy if you learn to love and accept yourself.
One day we glimpse our infinite potential and the next we wonder if we are utterly unworthy and incapable. We torture ourselves in this schizophrenic state for no purpose. Our fundamental value is neither determined nor shaken by our shortsighted perception. Additionally, it requires the same amount of energy to reject as it does to accept. To operate at an optimal energy level, we must choose self-acceptance. Most of us already do this with loved ones. When a friend does something remarkable we don’t doubt their value. We think, “Of course they did something remarkable—that’s who they are.” Does this mean that their lives are totally free from moments of being unremarkable? Of course not! Our perception of others is not impeded because we are not experiencing their internal fears, insecurities, and negative beliefs. It’s easy to have unwavering belief in them. We can see ourselves with this same heightened perception. When we do this, we raise our frequency, and attract more and more positive energy as we go.
We have a lot to learn from children. Children trust their instincts. When they are hungry, they eat. When they are thirsty, they drink. Children don’t care what people think about how they look, their dance moves, or even their likes and dislikes. Most importantly, children know how to love deeply, without holding back. As adults we lose touch with our instincts. We are bombarded with a plethora of “shoulds” and unreasonable expectations from society. Eventually the child-like enthusiasm is crushed; so, we clothe ourselves with negative beliefs and fears that only lead to more self-doubt. It is no wonder we end up in pain. Self-love, put simply, is the process of relearning everything we were born knowing all over again. When we invest in unloving ourselves, it not only requires energy, but leaves us in even more pain. It is a vicious cycle. To turn things around, you only need to invest in something different: loving yourself. If you do this, you will be astonished at the returns. All the positive people, opportunities, and experiences that you have been trying to create will naturally flood into your life. This is the law of attraction: love yourself and you will be loved.
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4. Listen to your gut to discover your calling.
Finding your calling is really choosing your calling. If you’re feeling overwhelmed because of an overabundance of options or just plain indecision, you’re going to have to start trusting your gut instead of your head. Your gut, otherwise called “intuition,” is sadly an untapped resource. For most of us, the thought of listening to our gut sends a shiver down our spines. In the tireless search for one’s calling in books, counseling, and cheap advice, we’ve lost touch with our inner guidance. We must quiet our minds to reconnect with this neglected resource and once we do it’s just a matter of choosing our first step.
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5. Your thoughts are the most powerful, life-changing tool at your disposal.
Your thoughts have the power to create or destroy. When you fix your thoughts on something, believe it is possible, and take decisive action toward it, odds are it’s going to happen. This does not mean that if you think, believe, and act like a unicorn, you will turn into one. It does mean, however, that if you spend your days thinking, “I could never make more than $50K,” you probably won’t. Start thinking like you’re going to make $100K by a specific time. When you meditate, make these thoughts the intention of your practice. Start hanging around people that would naturally increase the probability of you making $100K. You have to practice thinking in a way that raises your energy. By doing this, you increase your chances of attracting the very thing that you are paying mental attention to. This requires faith. You must choose to truly believe in the not-yet-seen, that the universe is abundant in resources, and that your $100K is available. Harness your inner badass and refuse to let thoughts of being undeserving or insecure take up space in your brain. Change your thinking and change your life.
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6. Gratitude and forgiveness are like gateway drugs to awesomeness.
Gratitude is more than the custom of saying “thank you.” Gratitude is a state of being which is born of an awareness and deep appreciation for the many miracles of life. Gratitude strengthens your faith because you have to believe that there are amazing things out there and choose to be thankful for them, sometimes even before you have evidence. Practice being grateful and watch how positive energy begins to flow in and out of you. At the end of each day, make it a habit to either write out or verbally acknowledge all that you are grateful for.
When we get hurt physically, we take the necessary steps to heal. But for emotional wounds, we often neglect the obvious remedy. What is worse, we insist on reopening our wounds by playing the stories of our hurt on an endless loop in our heads. Our ego is the culprit here. Our ego is all about making us feel insecure and defensive. Because of this, we feel the need to continually prove we are right. The feeling of being right is the highest reward the ego can offer us. Forgiveness provides a far greater reward: emotional freedom and personal happiness. If forgiveness is hard for you, start by imagining the person that wronged you as if they were a little child. Have compassion for them. You must refuse to live in the shadow of the pain they inflicted upon you. Letting go frees you. There are many ways to forgive, but the point is you need to wipe the slate clean, focus on raising your own frequency, and move on. Forgiveness is within your control. It’s a matter choosing the greater reward of being happy over being right.
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7. Fear is meant to protect you, not to keep you from doing what you want.
There is a serious epidemic in our society: we have made fear a habit. We pump ourselves with fear through stories of violence on the news, graphic video games, and a myriad of fear-inducing articles and advertisements about things we cannot control. This is not how we were meant to live. The true purpose of fear is to protect us from real danger. The body’s fight-or-flight response is like a friend who lets us know when there is actual danger. Most of our fears, however, are not real. They are merely projections onto a future that does not exist. Even worse, we base these projections on little-to-no evidence.
Start looking at your fears through the rear-view mirror. Think about all the times when you were afraid of something but took a leap of faith, anyway. Most likely the payoff you got for choosing faith over fear was worth it. Think about the adrenaline rush you felt when you challenged yourself to tackle that. Was it not sheer joy to feel so brave? You are now stronger because of it. When we listen to our fears, the greatest payoff we get is the feeling of safety—but is that feeling worth the risk of a life half lived, marked by regrets? Cut off every stream of influence that plays into the habit of fear.
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8. The energy you have around money determines how much of it you will make.
What you believe about money determines how much of it you will earn. Manifesting money is more than positive thinking—it often takes a complete overhaul of your beliefs and relationship with money. First, there is an abundance of wealth available to you. One of the greatest adversaries of wealth is the belief in lack. When you believe in lack, you feel the pressure to create wealth instead of ushering it in. This lowers your frequency and detracts from the wealth you are trying so hard to create. Additionally, if you believe that you are a better person for not having money, you are believing in lack. Think of money as a tool, like any other, available for your use towards whatever objective you deem as worthy of your wealth.
Possessing money will not bring you happiness, but it can provide you with opportunities that will allow you to share with others in meaningful ways. Wealth is not your enemy. Wealth is your friend. Make affirmations that confidently communicate what you will now choose to believe about money. You will need to make your affirmations specific and time sensitive. Create urgency in your mental attitude. The more urgent the expectation, the quicker the wealth will be ushered in. Choose to believe in abundance.
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9. Surrendering is admitting that you are a limited resource.
Stepping into your badass life is contingent on the balance between energy and action. You increase your energy by changing your beliefs and connecting with the limitless energy in the universe. You increase your action by taking determined steps toward what you now believe is possible. Surrender is the key to maintaining this balance. Even if you have the best of intentions, to focus solely on action is a recipe for burnout. An action focus leads to fear-based thinking. You start to think defensively, like you must take charge and manipulate the outcome. This will decrease your energy and create an imbalance. Love-based thinking leads to surrender. Surrender opens the flood gates of energy. Surrender ushers in love and gratitude for all the amazing things the universe will deliver to you in time. Surrender lubricates your actions and helps you to focus on who you are being on the way to where you are going.
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10. Create and maintain healthy habits to reap the benefits of being a badass.
To read books and attend seminars without taking action is an exercise in futility. You risk losing touch with your heart when you over-inflate your head. Anyone can get pumped up at the idea of being a badass, but true evolution is reserved for those who are willing to make a habit of being uncomfortable. Take a look at the areas of your life that make you wince, figure out which habits created them, and trade in those habits for ones that you are proud of. Investigate the people that inspire you and find out what their core habits are. Avoid drowning in the minutia by choosing two major habits that would create significant positive change.
Hang out with people who live at a high frequency and draw from their energy. When you set goals, be honest with yourself. You can only start from where you are. Make the ride easier by being kind to yourself. Creating new habits is hard but you can make it fun. Keep the affirmations flowing and always involve your body in your actions. Sometimes all it takes is choosing to smile or straightening your posture to change your entire attitude.
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Endnotes
These insights are just an introduction. If you're ready to dive deeper, pick up a copy of You Are a Badass here. And since we get a commission on every sale, your purchase will help keep this newsletter free.
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