Key insights from
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—And Keep—Love
By Amir Levine, Rachel S.F. Heller
Audio available
12 minute read
Published Dec 30, 2010
What you'll learn
Why are some people able to enjoy intimacy while others have only ever known relationships that disintegrate into emotional chaos and disappointment? Heller and Levine show us the science behind attachment and argue that intimacy issues are usually the result of incompatible responses to perceived threats.
Key insights
- 1 Codependency is a myth that keeps many from experiencing the beauty of intimacy.
- 2 The longing for a secure relational base is as old as humanity, but some are better at getting and keeping this than others.
- 3 The anxious stand to benefit from understanding their need for a secure relational base—perhaps more than any other type.
- 4 The avoidant tendencies resonate well with a culture that prizes independence, but it also keeps people lonely.
- 5 The anxious-avoidant trap is common because the anxious crush easily and avoidants don’t date other avoidants—for long.
- 6 People with secure attachment styles tend to make their partners more secure as well.
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