Key Insights From:
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
By Sue Johnson
Key Insights From:
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
By Sue Johnson
What You'll Learn:
No matter how passionate and enrapturing the initial romantic connection, love in a relationship is doomed to fizzle out over time, right? Clinical psychologist Sue Johnson strongly disagrees. After making little headway working with distressed couples through rational problem solving or exploring early childhood, Johnson developed Emotions Focused Therapy (EFT), an approach that helps couples discover the vulnerable emotions that roil beneath routine conflicts and misunderstandings. In Hold Me Tight, Johnson argues that responsiveness to our partner’s deep, attachment-based emotions is the secret to lifelong love. She encourages lovers to have a number of conversations, on topics such as their particular dances of dysfunction, their core wounds, their deepest fears and needs, and sex. What follows are some of those conversations.
Key Insights:
- Fights in relationships are better characterized as protests—protests over unmet attachment needs.
- Find out your core attachment wounds and your partner’s, or you will attack the other’s to protect yours.
- To practice finding and soothing emotional raw spots, revisit recent exchanges that didn’t go as hoped.
- Fear and longing are intimately intertwined.
- Sex is a vital part of a healthy love relationship, but the passion fades if sex becomes the end in itself.
- Lifelong love relationships are more crucial than ever in the 21st century because other bonds are breaking down.